I don't have much for you tonight. I'm pretty busy. I'm plaining a trip to NY to see Fagatron and his gay lover and I'm looking for things to do in NY City so if you got any ideas .

This morning my head almost exploded when I saw this. Luckly I know that this can not be true. It must be a trick played on us by some damn dirty hacker!

Is the mummified body of a small dog, lying on a magnificent 18th century embroidered bedspread art? I'd hang it on my wall, if that was at all possible.

A website dedicated to pictures of crazy German rock bands. I got this from popbitch so act like that SubWay bitch and check it out.

Mike from Big Dark Cloud sent me a bunch of hits today and showed off a little photoshop work I did on his forums this week so go take a look. Thanks Mike.

The dude from THP sent me some crazy traffic this week because he's cool like that.

ABigPhatNinja asked me if I wanted to exchange links yesterday. How could I denin anyone with a screen name like that?

Also check out Retnuh, Ajayonline / Nethitters, Fox Fairy, and Camp Hellview.

Thanks to Verizon - the main phone service provider in New York City - taking a little over a month to get my new pad dial tone, it's been quite a while since I've had the chance to pretend to the readers of CrazyAss13.com that I, in fact, lead an interesting life. A lot's happened in the past 30+ days that Verizon has been fucking me in the ass (and not in a good way). So much so that's it's too much bother telling you Fagafans about.

Oh sure, we could talk about how cool driving a Uhaul van through Times Square at 5 in the afternoon is. Or we could chat about how much of a hassle it is dealing with Uhaul's insurance provider after hitting two cars on my block while parking. Or I could tell you how I walked out of an interview when asked if anyone's ever told me I looked like Patrick Swayze. We could even discuss the future merits of Kelly Osbourne's pop music career considering how unattractive and chubby she is already at age 16. But let's not. Instead, I'll just provide you with this pictorial summary of my last month, and then we'll consider ourselves all caught up, and consider Verizon a total piece of shit. Fair enough?

Our local grafitti genius

No surprises here

Where Crazy Ass lives

The headline everyone asks themselves
where CrazyAss lives

This guy singing "Get your tickets out" was the
coolest thing about seeing Ground Zero

The only thing more boring than the messages
people leave at Ground Zero...

...Is GroundZero itself. I actually heard a lady
ask a cop, "Is this it?"

The most exciting thing about Ground Zero was watching all the tourists be really serious and reflective while standing near it.

The second gayest city in the US

Porn

Is this the coolest car in the world or what?

You don't think it's the coolest car?
Check out its passengers

Read the message above the license plate. Now
you think it's the coolest car ever, right?

Don't buy your home from this guy!

Don't buy your RV from him either!

If a woodpecker with a chef's hat doesn't say down
home family cooking, what does?

Fagatron2093

I took a long weekend during the forth for some hot camping action in the Black Hills of Dakota. I love camping, even when it's so fucking dry that you can't have a god damn campfire, which it was. A campfire is like TV when your camping. I can sit and watch that shit like it's a Real World marathon or some shit like that. I also got to do some major rock climbing. Yep, you heard me, CrazyAss is a extreme, awesome dude that hangs off rocks while wiping my brow with a cold can of Surge.

We camped at a rustic spot which is good because it means we don't have to deal with a bunch of kids and families, but the draw back is the outhouse. I can deal with no running water and I can piss on any ant hill I find, but when it comes to talking a dump in an outhouse I'm not a fan. To deal I've found I can hold my shit for a long time. I dropped a load on Wednesday before we left and held strong till Sunday when I finally had to either shit my pants our use the dreaded outhouse. Holding my shit for 3 days is a pretty good feat considering I'm a twice a day shitter on my normal routine. But Sunday came and I had to shit, it wasn't an option any more. I have major problems with shitting in an outhouse. They fucking stink, and I might be crazy but I'm not crazy enough to shit with the door open so I have to shut all that stink in there with me. Putting my t-shirt over my nose only can block so much shit smell. I have a fear of exposing my self over that open hole. I'm always scared a big shit monster or snake is going to jump up and grab my junk while I'm stilling there. I know it's crazy and nothing can live in that shit but it freaks me out. I combat this buy cupping my junk so it not just hanging there open for attack. To add insult to injury the toilet paper they have in outhouse is always the cheapest shit. I swear I spend more time wiping my ass then I do shitting.

Does anyone else have these problems?

Other Stuff
Fagatron2093 is back and has sent me a ton of new content. I'll start putting his stuff up this week so check back for the funny.

CrazyAss13 is TooSquare Magazines website of the month so go check them out.

Do me a favor and click here and here.

This guy has collected a bunch of weird shit that people tried to sell on ebay. Sometimes funny, sometimes not.

Photos from drug smuggling busts.

Plugging You
Big Dark Cloud | Perfect Echo | Outbreed | CrazyFuckedUpShit | Funky Shit

?Well, we're headed full speed into summer, which means that televised sports really starts to taper off.? Overall, I'd say the last year has been pretty exciting.? The NBA finals really sucked this year.? I'm?trying not to fall asleep as the Lakers smoke the Nets.? I never realized how much of a pile Keith Van Horn is.? His game sucks.? If it weren't for Jason Kidd, the Nets wouldn't have made the playoffs.??I haven't even?enjoyed watching the NBA Finals for several years now.? Just now, I figured out what was missing, and he wasn't really missing at all.? Kurt Rambis is his name.? Hoops is his game.? Those of you with a keen eye(and an attention span past the first quarter) probably noticed the one-and-only Rambis sitting on the Laker's bench during their third consecutive title run.? If you remember the pre-Phil Jackson days, you will remember that Rambis enjoyed a short stint as Coach.? I don't care what anyone says, Kurt was?the man.? I was watching ESPN Classic a few weeks ago, and I saw one of those old Lakers/Celtics finals game from the 80's.? Back?when the shorts looked like Speedos, Rambis was everywhere.? With the exception of scoring, there wasn't anything he couldn't do.? Some guy made a web page devoted to?Kurt.? You can check out Kurt in college, and check out his stats, as well as pictures of the mysterious "Rambis Youth" group who would frequent the Laker sidelines during Kurt's reign as the "NBA's biggest badass with sport goggles and long greasy hair".? Golly, I sure do miss those days.

I went?back to the town where I graduated?high school this?last?weekend.? I went over to EVILSOCKM's house to hang with his folks, and learned that his dad?is a rabid fan of crazyass13.com.? So we drank a bottle of whisky and a 12 pack and things got ugly for Joe.? Ol' Pickles held his liquor just fine, thank you very much.? Cheers to you Brillo.

My daily perousal of the news really got me laughing when I saw this article.? It reminded me of when I was a waiter in college and we used to have fat people come into the resturant.? All the chairs had arms on them, with the exception of a few that we referred to as "Larry Chairs".? When the host comes up to you and says:? "I'm seating you a table of four and we're going to need a Larry chair", it means you have a fat customer that won't fit in the normal chair.? The trick is to have the larry chair waiting for them when they get there so you don't have to wheel it across the resturant while the fat guy stands there waiting, drawing the attention of all the other customers, which depresses him and causes him to eat more and perpetuate his fatness.

Unless you live in a duffel bag, you've heard that Colorado is dry and burning.? No, Denver isn't going to go up in smoke, but it is getting pretty bad around here.? The other day, the Rocky Mountain News ran a cover article about some poor dude that lost his home to the blaze.? Here's the front page picture.? Now, call me crazy, but isn't that his nut hanging out of his shorts?? Some say it's a shadow, but I say it's a nut.? Yeah, it's a nut.? So is this.? That'll teach him to pass out on the couch.

On a lighter note, my kid is doing great.? He's already a champ.? Not many 2-month-olds can pull this off.? And he can't wait to play a little PS2 with dad.

?

Be sure to check out Jason Newsted's new band, Echo Brain, if you get the chance.? I put up a review for their debut album.? Great stuff.

?

Cheers,

Mr. Pickles