1# Jimmy "Superfly" Snuka
I had a "Superfly" poster over my bed from about the ages of 7 to 10. Sure I was just a stupid kid but Jimmy Snuka was one hell of a wrestler. He jump from the top of a steel cage at Madison Square Gardens, a feat that is still pretty impressive in modern day times, he was the first ECW champ, and he took a coconut to the head via Rowdy Piper. The guy was a nut and I like him.

Ugly Superfly link #1 | Ugly Superfly link #2

2# Andy Kaufman
"Whenever I play a role, whether it's good or bad, an evil person or nice person, I believe in being a purist and going all the way with the role. If I'm going to be a villainous wrestler, I believe in going all the way with it and not breaking character and not giving away to the audience that I'm playing a role. I believe in playing it straight to the hilt." - Andy Kaufman. That's what makes a great wrestler. Okay Andy wasn't really a wrestler or an athlete but wrestling not really a sport, it's entertainment and Andy's stint in wrestling made great TV.

3# The Dirt Bike Kid
He's one of the lamest wrestlers ever and I only saw him wrestle once, but The Dirt Bike Kid is the only wrestler that I ever had the pleasure, or displeasure, to talk to on a semi regular basis.

While living in London I worked at a Photo Developing / Copy shop. One day this very average looking fellow walked up to me and asked me to make some color copies for him. That was my job after all and god know Europeans can't work anything as complicated as a copy machine. So I took the poster from him and found out it was a flyer for some wrestling event. It had pictures of Suba, Rob Van Damn, Mike Whipwreak, and a few others I didn't recognize. So I asked the guy, what is this ECW, stuff?, and he almost fell over in front of me. He asked me how I knew what ECW was and where I was from. I told him I was from the good old US of A and that I used to watch ECW on the old idiot box from time to time. Then he asked me if I'd ever heard of the Dirt Bike Kid? I told him no. He took the poster from my hand and showed me the he was on the poster and he was the Dirt Bike Kid. I really wasn't that impressed but it beat the hell out of the usual slags I met at my job from day to day. This started a trend, DBK would stop by from time to time to get some cheap copies and tell me stupid shit about the European wrestling scene.

I finally got to see DBK wrestle on Valentines day that year. It was the best live wrestling event I've ever saw, I could go into detail about that but that's a post by it's self. It turns out DBK wasn't the home town hero I thought he was. When he entered the ring the crowd started a "Dirt Bike Sucks! Dirt Bike Sucks! Dirt Bike Sucks! Dirt Bike Sucks! Dirt Bike Sucks!" chant, and he was one of the gayest wrestlers I've ever saw enter the squared circle.

I saw the Dirt Bike Kid a few time after that, he came into the store on one of my last days to say good bye. He took my number and told me he was going to be wrestling in the USA a lot in the future so he would get me into a show some day. I'm still waiting for that call.

4# Baron Von Raschke
What I would give to see Baron von Raske with his califlower ears, goose stepping around the ring with his iron claw. Baron Von Raschke was the one of the most hated and feared heels in wrestling history. You know I was pretty young when I saw this guy wrestle and by the time he was a old man, but when I think about it, Baron von Raschke, a snarling Hun with an Iron Cross on his cape and red swastikas on his shoes, who acknowledged his prefight introductions with a sharply executed goose step, Baron Von Raschke was a Nazi! His career started shortly after World War II when Americas greatest villain was the Foreign Menace! I bet a Nazi or a wily Jap made the greatest villains at that time. Fuck, the Baron is a god damn Nazi!

He was the first wrestler I can remember having a signature saying. He always said, "I'm the Claw master, Baron von Raschke. That's all you need to know!" And come to thing about it that was ALL YOU NEEDED TO KNOW!

5# Leaping Lanny Poffo
Lanny Poffo, brother of Randy "Macho Man" Savage. When he was a jobber he used to read poems insulting his opponent, written on the back of frisbees, before each match and then throw them into the crowd. He later became the Genius and defeated Hulk Hogan by throwing him outside the ring. When the referees back was turned, Mr. Perfect Kurt Hennig hit Hogan with a foreign object and the Hulkster lost the match by a count-out. Of course, in the WWF the title only changes hands by a pin-fall or a submission, not a count-out. Not bad for Leaping Lanny huh. Check out the Lanny poem below, the man was a Genius!

The Jimmy Hart Foundation have an awful lot to prove
The Hit Man and the Anvil have a plan
They watched the British Bulldogs
And triggered every move
To take away their titles if they can
Their muscles are intimidating from the very start
Determination courses through their veins
They think of being champions and have a lot of heart
But the three of them together have no brains!

6# Rob Van Dam
Mr. Monday Night or the Whole Fucking Show either way the guys got class. Perhaps the most athletically gifted wrestler in the business today, and the guy can give a good interview to boot. He all so has an uncanny skill for unintentionally making his opponents bleed, having bloodied Steve Austin, Chris Jericho, Kurt Angle, and Raven. This is important because I like blood. Van Dam might be the best thing to come out of the ECW.

7# George "The Animal" Steel
"Trying to referee a George Steele match is like being trapped in a steel cage with a rabid St. Bernard"- referee Al Vass. In the beginning, George "The Animal" Steel was known as a wild man who could not be controlled, he was hated and would often use foreign objects in the ring. In the 1980's, thanks to his green tongue and habit of eating turnbuckle stuffing, Steele's character changed from brutal and violent to goofy. As a kid I always thought he was retarded and could never figure out what was up with the green tongue. The guy was entertaining.

Steele has been influential in an unusual way over the last few years. Late in his 80's WWF run, he began carrying a doll he named "Mine" with him to the ring. "Mine" could be seen as the precursor to Al Snow's Head, Chavo Guerrero Jr.'s wooden horse Pepe, Mankind's Mr. Socko and Perry Saturn's Moppy. I guess we have old George to blame for one of the stupidest recurring angles ever, but he had a green tongue, and that more then makes up for it.

8# "Rock and Roll" Buck Zumhofe
"Rock and Roll" Buck Zumhoff would enter the ring with his big ass boombox, jamming killer rock and roll tunes, and then he would get his ass kicked. Buck Zumhofe gimmick was a big ass boombox and rock and roll and that's pretty gay, but he was the first wrestler to mix wrestling and rock and roll, and that's saying something.

I remember seeing "Rock and Roll" Buck Zumhofe at a local event. He was wrestling some hated Russian guy who's name I can't remember. Buck Zumhofe lost, no surprise, and then the Russian added a little insult to injury by hitting Buck Zumhofe's boombox with the post of his Russian flag, D batteries went everywhere and kids scrambled to grab them. The kids gave the batteries back to Buck and blessed be it, the boombox still worked! The pinko's hadn't won! Rock and Roll would live on! USA! USA! USA! USA!

9# The Model
We're not talking about Rick Martel here, just The Model. Ohhhhhh how I hated that arrogant pretty boy! A male model has no business being a wrestler! He made me so mad! I'll never forget the Brother Love show when he sprayed Jake Roberts in the eyes with his arrogance perfume leading up to there blind fold match at Wrestlemania VII. Damn you Model!

10# Earthquake
I had to throw this one in here for Fagatron2093. You see it's always been his dream that Earthquake would sit on his face some day. Keep dreaming buddy. You do have to give the guy some credit for taking Damien out though. I remember Jake Roberts tied in the ropes, crying, while Earthquake screamed "I'M GONNA SQUASH THE SNAKE! HAW! HAW! HAW! HAW!" and then proceeded to jump on the snake bag.

Gay Midnight Rocker Bonus Picture!

So there you have it, my 10 favorite wrestlers and one gay Midnight Rockers picture. I guess I'm a bit bias towards old AWA wrestlers because thats what I watch the most as a kid. Don't be a jerkass and email me telling me Ric Flair was the greatest wrestler ever because I really don't care.

Some Random Stuff And Junk

If you listen to music on the net check out {S}purge. It's great stuff, and if you create an account you can request songs from his massive library. It's got a lot of new stuff I've been thinking about buying, Dan The Automator presents Wanna Buy A Monkey, Avalanches "Since I Left You", and Ol' Dirty Bastard "The Trials & Tribulations of Russell Jones" to name a few. Go check it out.

The Chris Cornell / Rage Against The Machine project is no more. Chris Cornell said "I left the band because I wanted to make another solo album full of more pussy music that will only see significant air time on VH1 and light rock stations or something like that." Check it out.

It looks like Perry Farell and Ben Harper might be getting the axe from EMI. The Perry Farell dropping doesn't really surprise me, he hasn't done anything good since the first Porno For Pyro album, but I always thought Ben Harper had a pretty strong following. I guess that hasn't related to record sales though.

The Top Ten April Fool's Day Hoaxes of All Time. I almost forgot today was April Fool's Day, I guess I better brake out my fake dog crap, rubber vomit, and whoopee cushion, because the classics never get old.

What do you get when you mix Ol Dirty Bastard with Bill Withers, or U2, Eric Sermon, and Marvin Gaye? A cool bootleg. It's a pretty big download (13mb) for you phone line suckers but if you haven't been checking out the whole bootleg craze give it a listen, there is some pretty creative music coming out of it. If you like, go check Boom Selection for more music and more information. Good stuff.

I got to give big thanks to some of the big guys for linking me this week. Dogbomb pluged this week. I'm sure most of you have been to his site but if you haven't take a look, it has great content like this. AjayOnline threw me a bone this week too, his site = major funny HAW HAW HAW! Rex Magazine has some new stuff going on with his site, a cool new forum and a ftp with lots of good stuff on it. This site promised me something, but I have not recived it. Time to pay up bub!

Social Reject | IWANG | FreakFarm | Stile | Rex Mag

You don't hear much about Mike Patton these days. Last I knew he was in some super group called Tomahawk with members The Jesus Lizard, Helmet and the Melvins. I saw this today thought and I thought it was pretty funny.

"OK. So the story has gotten a little out of control. It's time we clear the rumors up. First of all, it was not real urine or a real penis. Secondly, Mike Patton was not arrested. Thirdly, it can all be blamed on Nu Metal. Really!

"So Mike Patton and the band Tomahawk roll into London on March 10th for their triumphant packed show at the Astoria. Before the show, though, there was business to attend to. It turns out that several members of Nu Metals inner circle (who happened to be in London) had requested a pow wow with the Godfather of Nu Metal, Mike Patton. The topic for discussion was to get Mike's approval for a Faith No More tribute record as well as to mull over the multi-million dollar offer for a Faith No More reunion, Nu Metal festival tour. Attending the meeting were potential tour participants, Chino (Deftones), Brandon (Incubus), Fred (Limp Bizkit), Coby (Papa Roach), Joey (Slipknot) and Gavin (Bush) along with Mike Patton and Bill Gould (Faith No More).

"The meeting was going smoothly until for an unknown reason, Patton stormed out of the meeting. He later told Tomahawk bandmate, John Stanier, that Chino was very drunk and making unrealistic demands having to do with financial issues. As Patton left the venue a member of the Astoria security crew grabbed him and told him to get his "skinny little ass back in the meeting and make it happen!". Mike refused and a shoving match ensued. After cooler heads prevailed the meeting was adjourned and Tomahawk prepared to take the stage. Before taking the stage Tomahawk bandmates Kevin Rutmanis and Duane Denison lightened Mike's dark mood by showing him the toys they purchased earlier in one of London's finest fetish stores. One of the items was a rubber dildo that squirts water. Mike decided that this would be the perfect prank to get even with the Nu Metal lovin' hooligan security guard.

"I think everyone knows the rest of the story and has seen the pictures. When Mike was apprehended back stage and pulled the dildo from his pants, the tension was relieved and all parties had a laugh about it except the photographers at the front of the stage that thought it was real.

"On a side note Mike did give his blessing to the tribute record but vetoed the Nu Metal festival... for now! Stay tuned!"

I coundn't find any of the pictures. If anyone knows where they can be found send a brother a link.