Joe

Joe was a successful lawyer, but as he got older he was increasingly hampered by incredible headaches. When his career and love life started to suffer, he sought medical help. After being referred from one specialist to another, he finally came across an old country doctor who had a solution to Joe's problem, "The good news is, Joe, I can cure your headaches. The bad news is, it will require castration. You have a very rare condition in which something causes your testicles to press up against the base of your spine and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles."

Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything worth living for. He couldn't concentrate on anything for awhile until it got the better of him so he decided he had no choice but to go under the knife. When he left the hospital, he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself. As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life. He saw a men's clothing store and thought, "There's just what I need as I start my life again, a new suit."

He entered the shop and told the salesman, "I'd like a new suit."

The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said, "Let's see...size 44 long."

Joe laughed, "That's right, how did you know?"

"Been in the business 60 years!" Joe tried on the suit. It fit perfectly. As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about a new shirt?"

Joe thought for a moment and then said, "Sure..."

The salesman eyed Joe and said, "Let's see...34 sleeve and...16 and a half neck."

Joe was surprised, "That's right, how did you know?"

"Been in the business 60 years!"

Joe tried on the shirt and it fit perfectly. As Joe adjusted the collar in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about a new pair of shoes to go with the new suit?"

Joe was on a roll and said, "Sure..."

The salesman eyed Joe's feet and said, "Let's see...a 9 and 1/2 E."

Joe was astonished, "That's right, how do you know this stuff so well?"

"Been in the business 60 years!"

Joe tried on the shoes and they fit perfectly. Joe walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked, "How about some new underwear?"

Joe thought for a second and said, "Sure..."

The salesman stepped back, eyed Joe's waist and said, "Let's see...size 36."

Joe laughed, "Ah ha! I got you! I've worn size 34 since I was 18 years old."

The salesman shook his head and said, "You can't possibly wear a size 34. That would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache."