1. Chuck Berry
Mr. Rock and Roll Chuck Berry was sentenced to three years (served two) in jail for transporting an under-age Arizona girl across state lines for immoral purposes.

2. James Brown
Arrested for stealing clothes out of cars at 15, was sentenced to 8 years of which he served 3 years and a day. The Godfather wasn't done yet. On 9/88 Brown led police on a two-state car chase back and forth across the Georgia-South Carolina border in September 1988. When he was finally apprehended in Georgia , Brown was charged with Simple assault, carrying a pistol without a license, carrying a deadly weapon at a public gathering, two counts of assault with intent to kill, and seven misdemeanor charges. WOW! Additionally, the South Carolina police, who had blown out Browns two front tires during the chase, charged him with assaulting a police officer and several other traffic violations. Brown was sentenced to 6 years in prison, of which he served 2. You would think James would be tired after that but the next day, Brown was arrested again for allegedly driving while intoxicated and improper road movement. His 2 years in jail covered this infraction as well.

3. Billie Holiday
Legendary jazz singer was busted for prostitution when she was young. Later in life she became a heroin addict, she was sent to prison on narcotics charges in 1947. Upon her release, she performed at Carnage Hall. (How do you get to Carnage Hall? I healthy does of heroin and prostitution should do the trick.) In 1959 she died in Metropolitan Hospital, New York City, while under arrest for possession of illegal drugs.

4. Denny McLain
Denny was the last major-league pitcher to win 30 games in one season and I have doubts anyone is going to do it again in a day of 5 man rotations but I regress, lets talk about the bad stuff. McLain was sentenced in 1985 to 23 years in the can for racketeering, extortion, and snorting coke. He served 30 months.

5. Mae West
In 1927 West was convicted of producing an immoral play, the title of which was *gasp* "Sex." She was sentenced to 10 days in the can in NYC but got one day off for "good behavior", if you know what I mean. Nudge. Nudge. Wink. Wink.

6. Ozzy Osbourne
Everyones new favorite TV dad was busted in San Antonio in 1982, Ozzy was arrested for public intoxication and pissing on the Alamo grounds. The singer, whose wife attempted to help him stop drinking by taking his clothes so that he would be forced to wear hers, was found in a green evening gown and carrying a bottle of Courvoisier. Courvoisier what the fuck? I though rock stars drank Wild Turkey washed down with a little Jack Daniels. A decade later the city forgot about the Alamo incident and the order never to perform there again when Osbourne donated $10,000 to the Daughters of the Republic of Texas. In a recent interview, Osbourne said in retrospect, "One of my greatest regrets is that I urinated on the Alamo." I though it would be recording that annoying "Mama I'm Coming Home" song.

Previous crimes perpetrated by Osbourne include burglary, for which he spent 2 months in the Winston Green Prison in England when he was 17, and spousal abuse, an infraction for which he was never prosecuted when his wife, Sharon, refused to testify against him.

7. Fatty Arbuckle
Fatty was one of the major stars of the silent screen when he was charged with the rape and resulting death of an obscure 25-year-old starlet named Virginia Rappe at a drunken party in 1921. The details were shocking, the rumors more so, that Arbuckle had torn Virginia's insides with his 266-pound weight, that his drunkenness had given him a limp noddle, whereupon he angrily violated the girl with a wine bottle, or a Coke bottle, or worst of all, with a jagged piece of ice. When all was said and done, however, Arbuckle was acquitted in his third trial. He was free, but his career was over, and he died in 1933 having never regained his former popularity.

8. Bob Denver
Gilligan was busted at his West Virginia home, for receiving marijuana in the mail. A lot of joke possibilities here, make up your own.

9. Fyodor Dostoevsky
In 1846 Dostoevsky joined a group of utopian socialists. He was arrested in 1849 during a reading of Vissarion Belinsky's radical letter "Selected Passages from Correspondence with Friends", and sentenced to death. Due to a last minute reprieve the sentence was transformed to four years hard labor in Siberia.

10. Frank Sinatra
Frank Sinatra didn't do any time, after all Sinatra is above the law, but in 1938 in Hackensack, New Jersey he was arrested for charges of seduction and adultery. Neither of the acts with which Sinatra was charged is against the law today, but his initial charge in 1938 stated that: "On the second and ninth days of November 1938 at the Borough of Lodi" and "under the promise of marriage" Sinatra "did then and there have sexual intercourse with the said complainant, who was then and there a single female of good repute." This, the charge stated, was "contrary and in violation of the revised statute of 1937." Sinatra was released on $1,500 bond and that the complaint was withdrawn when it was determined that the woman involved was married. A complaint of adultery was substituted, with Sinatra's bond being lowered to $500. That charge, too, was dismissed.

Well, that was fun. Now it's time for some random crazy stuff. We all know the Japanese have pretty crazy taste in TV, check this out! For you ear holes take a listen to this jazzy cover of the recent Kylie Minogue hit. Go to Boom Selection for more. For you eye holes Sisley photographer Terry Richardson had an exhibition entitled "Too Much: Fuck you Sisley", in which photos were shown from the Sisley shooting, judged "too risky" by the brand. Terry Richardson is an amazing photographer and he has really bad eyes so he just uses point and shoot cameras, that's great. I was going to plug some new music reviews Perfect Echo had on his site earlier this week, but I don't know what the hell is going on with his site right now. Cool. This crew is worth a nickel. Now do me a favor. If you like the rapping take a listen to Sage Francis. {S}purge has bunch of his albums in rotation and if you create an account ?(it's free and easy, and he won't send you a bunch of shit email or sell your address) you can request it and give it a free listen. Big Dark Cloud made T-shirts, they will make you look cool.