Artists Suck! Accept for Shag! As you all know, I'm an artist, and to tell you the truth, it sucks. You get accused of being everything from a Buddist to a fag, anything but an artist. But I can tell you I think I'm going to take some advice from an artist I just recently met at an exhibit he was having in Fagatron's old shit hole town Minneapolis. Shag quite possibly is the furthest thing from an artist you can be, personality wise, he told me to think of it as business from now on, and everything would be just fine. We drank Tiki drinks and made fun of some of his goofy fans for awhile, It was quite entertaining. There was this idot couple that decorated their entire house in his prints and tiki shit. They both had tattoos of course. Dumb! The thing that bugged me the most about the two was they were preppy, they had no right trying to be all into Shag, you want to be cool, stop shopping at the Gap and get some original Hawaiian shirts or something. They brought pictures of there dump, about the only thing that made it cool was the fact there was Shag prints hanging on the walls. It looks like they bought the rest of the shit at Walmart the only store that has more people in the return line then in the checkout lines. There was a guy at the exhibit with a mohawk, he was pretty cool, at least he wasn't trying to lick Shag's boots! It was kinda of funny though, Shag was sitting next to me at a table and some puss walks up to the table and asks me if it would be OK if Shag signed a book (like I was his body guard or something, for one Shag isn't fucking Dali, and for two, if Shag had the money to hire a bodygruard, you would think he would hire someone who at least topped 5'7") I told the jerkoff to ask him. Shag later said to me that people aren't very smart. Unfortunately unlike the COOP show where COOP brought his big titted wife, Shag left his at home, and Fagatron will like this, Shag said she only likes to come along when he goes to INTERESTING places, I say I can't blame her. Well after the reception I got bombed, picked up a free drag queen magazine for reading entertainment and passed out in my hotel room. Oh yeah, in case you did not know I started an art group about a year ago, called Midwest Artist Collective (MAC) to my dismay, a bunch freaking old people showed up, and it's been that way since. I finally got fed up with it the other day, and sent out this email to select few young members, those old fucks can take a hike! Subject: MAC Revamp Greetings you pathetic art fags! Ok, call me a stuck up fuck, or even a art snob, I don't give a flying fuck! I decided to change MAC into what I wanted it to be anyway, a forum to discuss current art, with people who know or want to fucking know, so I'm sending this out to a select few of assholes that I think would want to attend, whether you are a fucking artist or not. Our next meeting will be Sunday, September 8, 2 PM at the Top Hat. If you don't like the cigarette smoke, go fuck yourself. Oh yeah, bring some mags and shit on current art, so we can talk about something before the 3rd vodka tonic kicks in. Better fucking be there! Especially you Mike, you bug eating ass! Fat Midget ------------- As you can see I was at the end of my rope, well then again, I always am. So take my advice, if you are an artist, and you're pretty fucking good, don't tell anyone except galleries and other artists, that you trust, otherwise you will have a nervous fucking breakdown. I'm working on some new stuff for my next show, hopefully in the Spring. I'm painting portraits of friends in the Byzantine style of icon painting, they kickass. I'll post one here real soon. Look for another story after Labor day, I'm going to the Gear Fest in Austin Texas sponsored by Gearhead Magazine. 30 punk rock bands, in 3 days.Everyone from DMZ to Red Planet will be there, should be a blast, say hi to the midget if you see me, I will probably be passed out drunk in the bathroom after midnight, you can't miss me, I'm short and fat. Fat Midget Shag Art and Gearhead Magazine Site Stuff Or AIM Me Archive What The Fuck? What Is Art? Friends Big Dark Cloud Perfect Echo Outbreed Loaded Again Rex Magazine AjayOnline CrazyFuckedUpShit Funky Shit Poosah Sinnocence BathTubGirl Gimps Something Awful Other Links The Webshite Mr. P'body's Place Don't Mess Around Meat Market Lax Time Cheesy Thighs Snow Surfer Nethitters Too Square Kill To Cure Chicken Legs Class Or Sex Retnuh THP Fox Fairy