My New Friend Miramax

 While panhandling for money in Manhattan (my Will Eat Out Ass For Spare Change shtick is making a killing!), I was approached by a representative of Miramax Films who asked if Id like to see a screening of a movie for free on the following night. It just so happened I was available, and since the price was right, I agreed. It all seemed very exciting: here I was about to get a sneak preview from the creative minds at Miramax. The chance to hobnob with film bigwigs and share my insights with them on why more summer blockbusters need anal rape scenes.

Of course, nothing is ever as great as it sounds on paper. The flyer I was given instructed everyone to arrive no later than 45 minutes before the movie began due to the fact that it was heavily overbooked to insure a capacity crowd. Though I arrived at the theater at the designated time, I still had to stand in line outside in 90 degree weather for an hour beyond the expected 45 minutes. My wait was made somewhat more bearable by the late-30s wannabe film maker that was discussing his projects with a 20-something wannabe fat actress. The most amusing part came when, without prompting, he told the person at the door, I know your flyer said no industry people, but I am a film maker. The person at the door asked if he had done any theatrical releases. No. Had he done student films? No. Internet films. No. Luckily for him, his industry experience consisting of never having made a movie except in his mind didnt preclude him from getting in.

When were all finally let in to the small theater, a quick scan of the room reveals that this heavily overbooked screening has attracted only about 30 people 100+ short of its seating capacity. Hey Miramax, if a movie cant even attract a full audience when youre giving it away in droves, you might want to rethink its release.

Once the movie began a documentary about the current doings of Motown and Memphis soul legends it slowly began to dawn on me that this wasnt turning out to be the enjoyable experience I had anticipated. First, because I knew there would be a questionnaire and discussion afterwards, I was watching the movie analytically rather than just enjoying it. Secondly, the movie kinda sucked. I guess thats why we were all there. Interestingly, certain flyers in the background identified that the movie was filmed in June of 1999, leaving me to ponder how many groups and edits this things had already been through.

Anyway, after its over, we sit and talk for 20 minutes about all the movies problems with some Miramax schmoe. Most of the audience seemed to have liked it, but everyone thought it needed work. Me, I just sounded off on how it had no focus. All this seemed like a lot of work to get into a movie that wasnt that great. Then we were each given a $10 bill as thanks for participating.

So, in closing, Id just like to say that this film was absolutely wonderful. As is anything released by Miramax, this movie is the only thing you should see whenever it is that it is actually released. Word.

Fagatron 2093
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