Nobody Fucks My Stalker But Me! (And Even I Don't Do That) 1/13/02 Fagatron2093 Like getting back together with a lover you hate because you miss the sex, so too have I returned to posting on CrazyAss13. Perhaps youre wondering where Ive been. Well, for Christmas, a friend gave me a Sonicare. For those unfamiliar with this wonderful product, its basically a toothbrush with more vibratory force than a jackhammer. When I first used it, the violent shaking in my mouth nearly caused me to pass out. This, of course, made me ponder its potential uses as a sexual pleasuring device. So, my last few weeks have been spend turning my Sonicare into an Analtear. Heres what Ive come up with thus far: Exhibit A: Sonicare toothbrush Exhibit B: Sonicare with special anal stimulator attachment Exhibit C: Simulation of the pleasure my invention is capable of giving As an apology (or possibly a more intense form of punishment) for having been away from you my adoring fan(s?) for so long, Im going to tell you the story that Ive been dodging because its just so damn long and detailed. Yes, friends, its time to tell you about the time I had a stalker of my very own. To begin with, you must know that I once worked at a publication that also had a website. Nothing so prestigious as this fine site, mind you. Anyway, occasionally myself and the people I worked with would have our pictures in print or online, and wed write little personal messages to our readers. Well, one day I received a crude comic about my work environment from a person Ill codename FatsoLoco. I dont know if any of you have experienced anything similar to this, but when a stranger makes a comic about your life, its pretty god damned flattering. You start thinking foolish thoughts like, Wow, this is REALLY a funny depiction of my life in stick figure form. Is this comic that funny? You be the judge. Being so thoroughly amused and ego stroked, we all decided to put the comic up on our website. Since it was originally addressed to me, I emailed FatsoLoco to make sure it was okay with her. Soon thereafter, I got a reply that informed me not only was it okay with her, shed get working on another comic right away! Fine, I thought. Be something to put up on the website other than more pictures of me sticking my dick in yet another strange, possibly caustic, substance. As promised, FatsoLoco did indeed send more comics. In fact, from the file I kept (for the eventual lawsuit and restraining order I knew I would one day need evidence for), it seems FatsoLoco sent us 22 episodes of her stick figure artwork, usually about once per week, and each usually over three pages long. At this point, Im sure many of you are saying, Fagatron, you may be damn handsome, charming as hell, and to look upon your naked body is the earthly equivalent of experiencing divinity, but this hardly sounds like a stalker. Ah, but this is exactly where it starts to get strange. About half way into her series, FatsoLoco began sending extra items along with the comics, mostly pictures of herself. Sending photos to a person you dont know is a little weird, but I actually wouldnt have minded if FatsoLoco would have remembered the cardinal rule of personal photographs, which is: If the person looking at the photograph doesnt know you, they wont give a fuck unless a) youre hot, b) youre naked, or c) youre dead. Choosing to completely ignore this unwritten Kodakian law, FatsoLoco instead chose to inundate me with some of the most inane pictures of herself. In fact, I feel Im a pretty good judge of what makes a dull photo. Once, when CrazyAss13 and I lived in London (but let me stress again, CA13 is no queer&yet), he brought home a garbage bag yes, literally a fucking Hefty garbage bag full of photos that people never picked up from getting developed. We went through all these unclaimed pictures, and I say out of those tens of thousands, there was eight interesting shots, tops. But that sack of boring pics beat the shit out of the stuff sent to me by FatsoLoco. Dont believe me that FatsoLocos pics were dull? Have a look for yourself at some of the more exciting ones by hitting the quote from the back of the photo. (These quotes are verbatim, by the way, and the misspellings are all her.) I used to work at a Photoshop& completely dorky&I know This is me and my mom at alcatraz with a former inmate! PS Im 21 yrs old was 19 in pic My Favorite picture of meself! This is me pist and sik in san Fransico with a letter in my mouth. Heres me in yosemit. These pictures are 3 or 4 yrs old. Im not such a flower child anymore but I am a little. I still wear bell bottoms and other stuff frequently but not as much&am I blabbinb? strawbarry margarita! Yeah baby! Thrilling shit, huh? Yet, Im sure some of you email fuckers find this all quite tame compared to the heart spillings you pour out to really cool people you meet in your goth-only chatrooms. Alright, well heres something youll understand. Heres some quotes from the emails FatsoLoco sent me. (By the way, she had begun emailing once or twice per day at this point. No big deal? Well, according to her she didnt have a computer or a car, and she had to walk a mile to the local library to email me. Would you walk a mile to email someone? You would? What are you, 13? Get off this site, youre too young. Try nickelodeon.com or something.) I totally love you! P.S. Im a girl in case you didnt know. You are so wonderful. I know your busy, thats why you havent written me back. Thats ok I forgive you. So I was going to give you some stamps so youd write me, but Im broke. So Ill send some next time after I get paid ok. (Yes, this was an email, and no, she never did send those stamps. Fagatron) I wish I could get you something nice. Your so nice. If theres anything you want, Ill gladly give it to you. I promise anything. It would make me happy. I probably sound stupid& Youre like a celebrity to me. Do you ever, um, give tours of your office ever? Id love to meet you. Im sure you dont want to meet me. Its a stupid question. I really would go down there, though. (FatsoLoco lived around 2000 miles away.) Those bitches at Cosmopolitan! Ill kick their ass for what they said about you! (I have no clue what shes talking about here, but she did send this in the mail a couple days later.) I think Ill cuddle up with my stuffed tiger, play some Chicago, feel sorry for myself, and think about you. (Id feel sorry for myself, too, if my music of choice was Chicago.) Nothing, except perhaps going to the ocean, makes me as happy as you. Im a smart girl, I can learn anything. I wont be able to email you fri, sat, or Sunday. I dont want to color one more picture! (and thats exactly how it was written.) I cant believe that youve been to busy to email me by now! Its been two weeks! Im sorry if I did something wrong. I'm really not being myself when I do stupid things like writing you weird emails. I am actually a very nice person. I'd never actually say anything mean like that to anyone in person. It's diffrent when you write stuff. I'm really sorry, please don't be mad at me for anything. I walk hella far to the library everyday to see if you wrote me and I'm always disapointed. I miss hearing from you. If you don't write me back I guess there's nothing I can do. I won't e-mail you again until I hear from you. I really admire you, I think your helluve cool and smart and funny. I somewhat consider you a friend. I'm sorry If your mad at me. I understand though. But that's not the way I really am in person. I love hearing from you, youre the coolest guy on the planet!!!! I thought you liked me. I know my comics arent professional or anything, but they took a long time for me to do. My life is a cesspool of shit. My mom hasnt been home in almost a month because she stays at her boyfriends apartment. I got in a fight with my two best friends several months ago, so while I have a lot of friends I dont have any close friends. I couldnt afford to go to school this semester. All Ive eaten in the past two days is a banana and a piece of bread because I am poor as fuck. I dont have anyone in the world. No real friends, no family, nothing. I am so alone. I feel like my life is worthless. The only thing that actually made me happy was sending you those comics. I am just a product of my environment. I was a severely abused child in every which way. The kind of shit you only read in books and wonder if it could be true, that was my life. I really dont care what the fuck you think. I fuckin hate you. My heart has been ripped and shredded and put in a fuckin blender. I dont know why I am writing you this. I doubt youll even read it. Ok, so I'm thinking either your busy and I'm having a heart-attack for nothing or you think I'm crazy. So my psychology teacher e-mailed me recently, I've known him for three years if anyone knows if I'm crazy it's him. He's also been a therapist for 20 years and a proffeser for 8. He is totally my best friend in the world. He dosen't think I'm crazy, in fact he for some reason think's I'm absoulutly wonderful. I never write him psycho email's in fact we've never argued once in three years! For some reason I am infatuated with you so I get over-emotional and stupid but I'm actually clinically "normal" a short message from him appears below. FatsoLoco: Im not sure if my last message went through. I hopw so. If not, let me say again that Im really sorry your mom is treating like this. But dont give up on school. You are WAY to smart and have too much potential to give up. If youre on your own you will easily qualify for financial aid and probably housing assistance. I miss you a lot. I hope your trip was fun. I dont know if youll get this message in time, but I will be on campus on Thursday (5-25). Ill be doing my grades, but if you want to maybe you could call. Id love to talke with you! YOU TAKE CARE!!!! Ernie So anyway, I have saved all of the messages you have ever sent me. If you don't believe me, my password to my hotmail is xxxxxxx. Of course if you erase them I'll be awfully pist. ok, love you, bye! (If this bitch giving me her Hotmail password doesnt prove shes crazy, what does?) Im really glad were still friends. You know whats really interesting about all these emails? I never wrote her back once after I got the one where she informed me she was a girl and totally loved me. More interesting still, this is just a sample of the emails I received from FatsoLoco over the course of six months. Oh, let me tell you, our relationship went through some real fictional highs and lows. One day Id be an asshole, the next Id be the best thing in the world&well, except maybe for the ocean. As you can imagine, I found all of this entertaining as hell. Every day I would look forward to coming into work to see how my relationship was going with this nutty bitch. Believe it or not, though, after half a year of no replies, FatsoLoco started to catch on that maybe I wasnt going to email her ever again. In fact, she sent me this rather lucid comic that perfectly illustrates the situation. After getting this in the mail, I didnt hear from FatsoLoco anymore. It was a good run while it lasted, I figured, but now it was finally over. Or was it? Fast forward a few months. I and all my coworkers were to go to a huge convention known as E3 in California (if you dont know what E3 is, youre probably a pretty cool person). FatsoLoco was far from my mind. So far, in fact, that it didnt occur to me that E3 was within driving distance, albeit an eight-hour drive, of FatsoLoco. In this huge convention center, amongst hordes of people, guess who taps me on the shoulder? Thats right. Now, theres only two times in my life when Ive truly known the meaning of the phrase, I was so scared, I almost shit my pants. The first was when I got arrested at Target for shoplifting Commodore 64 games. The second is when I came face to face with the loony whore that had been imagining a relationship with me for nearly a year. Not only could I feel my bowels loosening, I could feel every hair on my body growing. I wanted to run, but honest to Allah I thought she might have a gun and would shoot me in the back. My coworkers, who were all nearby when I came face to face with my potential doom, immediately set out to find something else to do. I was alone. I was sweating. I was about to barf. I said, hello. FatsoLoco then went into a tirade about the hurdles she had to leap to get to meet me. Not only did she have to beg a friend to drive her to the convention center, she had to pay for all the gas, and she had slept in the car last night because she blew all her money on getting a pass (E3 costs a few hundred dollars to get into if you arent an exhibitor and arent press, but its really easy to fake your way in. FatsoLoco apparently didnt know this). Knowing shed have to pay to get in, she hadnt eaten in the last two days to save money although now she couldnt eat if she wanted to because she needed to keep all the money she had for gas to drive back home. Perhaps it was the threat of my demise. Or maybe I felt sorry for her. Hell, it could have been that my fake heart welled up with fake emotion from remembering the fake good times we had in the past. I asked FatsoLoco if I could buy her lunch. Naturally, she accepted. We went to the cafeteria, she picked up a tray full of food, then she sat across from me and kept giggling. She was so star struck from actually being in my presence, she could barely speak. She was starving, but was too nervous to eat. All she did was stare at me and laugh at every half-assed, dry-throated attempt I made at conversation. It was at this lunch table, that the true patheticness of all this came to me. This person had spent all the money she had to meet me. Me, a fucking dude that writes for a barely literate publication. Thats even more pathetic than falling in love with the sports guy on a local newscast (anyone ever heard of Singin Severin?). After half an hour of this torture, I got up and said I had to go. She tried to hug me, but I shoved my palm into hers and turned it into a handshake. I then walked out the door, and ran faster than the time I was being chased by the Jesus freak wearing rainbow tights. FatsoLoco even wrote a pretty accurate comic about her run in with me and my fellow employees. Here it is. Our delusional relationship after this encounter, of course, bloomed. FatsoLoco intimated to me that if I had asked, we could have had sex and she would have done anything I wanted. A coworker, upon hearing this, stated and I quote Id have fucked her. (Remember this, its very important for later in the story.) Perhaps I too would have fucked her if I wasnt so aware of my mortality, and FatsoLoco was at least halfway decent looking. (Keep in mind, all those photos she sent me were years old. Time had certainly taken its toll on this one.) In fact, as Ive often reminisced, this story would have been totally different if FatsoLoco had turned out to be a pretty hot chick. This renewed one-sided love could not last forever, though. Soon, FatsoLoco noticed I still wasnt writing. In anger, she began inexplicably sending me interesting items, like this photo (WARNING! You may not want to see this. Now you have to look, right?) and one of those inflatable pigs you can fuck. (Which, if youre wondering isnt that great a masturbatory tool. Since its a gag gift, its not that high of quality. Theres no warmer in the orifice, and its easy to get your penis scratched by the plastic lining. I say spend at least $100 when purchasing a blow-up lover.) Now that she was actually sending me good shit, I was kind of starting to enjoy her again. Alas, FatsoLoco would later inform me by email that she was never writing me again. Then she emailed me again to tell me Id never hear from her again. Then she emailed me to make sure I got her final email. Then she emailed me to let me know that I really wasnt going to hear from her again. Then she emailed me some more. Heres an excerpt from her actual final email: I can't think of anything rotten to say about you today. How odd. Maybe, I'm coming to terms with the fact that your never going to e-mail me again and that were not friends any more? Anyways I doubt you care about my hate e-mail's since you said you get hate mail all the time and you don't really care. I'm sure your not stupid but I'm not really completely serious when I send them to you. I waited three weeks somewhat patiently after the convention for you to write me back, then I went ballistic. I think your hot, and have beautiful eyes. Everything I write is just because I was mad you weren't e-mailing me. I of course know now I will never hear from you again I just want to tell you this stuff because this is the last time I will ever e-mail you again. You see, I was talking to my psychology teacher, and I asked him what was wrong with me why I write you these hate e-mails and seem to be obsessed with you. He told me it's because I have low-self esteem. He says he remembers me telling him when I was writing you those comics that I kept constantly worrying that you guys weren't going to like them. He said as long as he's known me I'm always waiting for something bad to happen to me whenever anything good happens. And by writing psycho e-mails I don't have to worry about not being liked because I know obviously that you won't, but at least I have some control over it. He also said I'm very sensitive and I care more deeply about things than anyone he's ever met. He's been a therapist for 20 years a teacher for 9, he's known thousands of people. Real wacko's too. I hope that's not true. I like to think of myself as cold and ambivalent about things. Anyway just wanted to say sorry too, I wrote some really mean stuff. But don't worry I'll never e-mail you or send you anything weird in the mail again. And she didnt. This is where the story would end if it werent for an interesting little twist that came up. About a year later, I was going through my crap and I came across my FatsoLoco file. Wanting to walk down memory lane, I went to my email to read all the crazy shit she had written me. Lo and behold, I had erased almost all the emails. What was I thinking? Ah, but luckily I had saved the one in which FatsoLoco gave me her Hotmail password. In search of my missing emails, I went into her account. Sure enough, she had a folder with my name on it that contained everything I was looking for. Just as I was about to erase all her email and subscribe her to 500 newsletters, I noticed something rather interesting. Directly below the folder with my name on it was a folder with one of my coworkers name on it, lets call him HornyBoy. The same guy who said, Id have fucked her. Turns out, HornyBoy had been emailing her secretly for months, never telling any of us because he knew wed set a new world record for office beratement. HornyBoy even had a dirty little secret he was sharing with FatsoLoco. But why should I tell this story? Ill let the emails do the talking. Heres some of the better ones. FatsoLoco: Im so happy that we have become friends. Hopeflly our friendship will blossom into one of sincerity and freeness to discuss situations in our lives openly with each other. Although we are partly there, it would bring me much pleasure to see this relationship intensify. I enjoy reading your emails and I think you have many good ideas for a person who thrives on creativity such as myself. Your interests are inspirational. If our relationship lasts, I would love to see you reach the goals that you so want. HornyBoy: Well, those are definitely some sweet sentiments from you. Thanks. I've been on trips since Wednesday and haven't been around, but I'll try to write you soon. FatsoLoco: I'm hella tierd. Getting here at eight o' clock is to early for me. Even if I do live across the street. he-he. You knoooow I forgot to tell you when I came back from the trip, I was telling this girl Lori about it at my work, I started happily talking about how I met my friend down there (you) Ed interjected and said "What! After all that crap you were talking about him last week!" Then later on he asked what it was I liked about you so much. He even asked if I had a picture of you. It seems strange... I wonder if he likes me...? What do you think? Why would he be so interested? HornyBoy: Ed as in your old psychology teacher? Or is this some other Ed? Sounds like whoever it was, they were a bit jealous, and sizing up the competition or something. It may just be strange to him that you have such a love/hate relationship with me, though. I have lots to do today, though most of it doesn't have much to do with work. I really need to change my scorpion's bedding, then get her some crickets. I love my scorpion. She's been with me a long time, and I have nightmares about her running away or getting hurt. (Yep, HornyBoy has a scorpion for a pet, but I wont get started on this one because this piece is long enough as it is. For now, let me just say, a scorpion is a fucking retarded pet because its just a god damned arachnid. Its like caring about a cockroach. Fagatron) FatsoLoco: Ed is the teacher at my school where I work! Don't be sick. My angelic-like psychology teacher has not an impure thought in his head! Ick! I am so sick. I went to the hospital on Thurday I have an ear infection and my brother was giving me antibiotics he got from Mexico. Anyway my ear infections only in my ear canal not inside my body. So the antibiotics made me really sick. I felt dizzy and weak like I couldn't even lift a peice of paper. I went to work and started crying and almost threw up in the sink. So my friend Christine told me just to go home. My mom picked me up and I went to the county hospital. That's where I found out what my infection was- or rather where it was. I didn't want to go because I have no insurance and I already owe them lots of money. But I had to. I've been in bed for three days. I just came to work today and I feel like I'm gonna barf right now. My head is killing me. I gotta go to work my sweetheart... bye, HornyBoy: I'm very sorry you're sick, darlin'. That's awful! You should get a witch to give you a magic amulet to turn you into a dolphin, so that wouldn't happen when you swim. I had a very sexual dream about you last night. It was kind of weird. I wrote it down at home. I can tell you about it if you'd like. Get better! FatsoLoco: Did you get my last two e-mails? It's wendsday not today. Gotta go. Did you like my sex e-mail? Alot? I was going to write more but I had to go. (I searched all over, but I couldnt find this sex email. Fuck do I wish I could though! Fagatron) HornyBoy: I liked it very much. FatsoLoco: I mailed your stuff today. You might just get melted chocolate bars, I hope not. I think I've been really emotional because I'm on my period. Ya know? Robin's daughter is visiting from San Diego. She's 18 and more my age. I've found out some interesting things about Robin. Like what a freakin liar she is. I am such a sucker... always getting used. And I found out how she uses a big pity party to get sympathy and money. She also spent 400 dollars of her daughter's money when she came down. We had a long conversation about how were both getting ripped off. Some of the shit she tells me so that I feel sorry for her is a lie. She tells me how her son's diabetic, her husband died last year, how depressed she is so she can't work, how somebody stole her clothes when she lived by Yosemite, how poor she is, and on and on. How can I not feel sorry for her and want to buy her clothes and take her out. Some of the shit she told me though was a lie, like how her mom used to beat her up; her daughter used to live with her and that's not true, she says Robin's a user and she gets people to feel sorry for her so they'll buy her stuff. How terrible. Anyway I hope you get your stuff. And I hope your not mad about anything I said in my last e-mail, I would never really walk there but if we BOTH felt the same way and I couldn't see you for some weird alternate... I'm not making any sense hmmm... well, talk to you later.. HornyBoy: That's freaking shitty about Robin screwing you over. You always end up a victim. Poor girl... Things like that always happen to the sweet people. I got the box! Thanks! Boy, am I glad you didn't send me that chick's bar. I might be too tempted to grow boobs of my own, to make masturbation that much more rewarding. Plus, if I turned into a girl, I'd get all emotional from my period, too. And you'd have to turn into a lesbian. FatsoLoco: So you liked the stuff? Hmmmmm? What was your favorite thing. Send me a picture of you sweetheart. Nude would be best. Please hurry! HornyBoy: I really don't have any pictures I can send you, on the computer or otherwise. Just kidding, heres one. My favorite thing you got me was the letter talking about eating the girl's protein bar so I didn't grow boobs. FatsoLoco: You look so fuckin hot in your pic. My dream man! What a hunk! What a stud! A fine specimen of a man! A beautiful creature of nature! Good enough to eat! hehehe. I mean it! Gotta go! (Traitorous bitch! Fagatron) HornyBoy: Glad you liked the picture, though you maybe liked it a little too much. heh. FatsoLoco: Don't be so modest. You are hot to trot. Flattery will get you everywhere I always say. You know my sweet I was just wondering... Do you check your e-mail like uh... you know to uh... see if I sent you a message or do you always just check your e-mail several times a day out of habit? Or do you have lots of e-mail friends that e-mail you all the time? Some lady asked me at work a little while ago, "Who are you e-mailing all the time?" I smiled and said, "Oh, just some guy I like." Exciting converation huh? Well I gotta go clock out, "see" you tommorow morning. HornyBoy: I check my email often but inconsistently. I went swimming and went in the sauna again. That's a pretty fun combo, though this time I wasn't alone in the sauna. I'm getting to be like Henry Rollins, where I'd rather experience the good things in life alone, rather than having to deal with people. Boy am I a grump, huh? (Is it just me, or does everyone know someone that wishes they were Henry Rollins? Fagatron) FatsoLoco: Look at this profile I wrote a long time ago about myself on the internet&I have blonde hair, blue eyes, Im about 57, 170 pounds. HornyBoy: 170 lbs? Did you gain like 20 since I last saw you? You don't look NEAR that heavy. Girls don't show it though, I guess. (Yes she does look that heavy, and from what I saw, girls do show it. Fagatron) FatsoLoco: I bath EVERY single day. Sometimes twice a day since I started masterbating and I do that in the shower. Geez, do you know I masterbate every single day? Sometimes for an hour at a time? Quite a change from not doing it at all I'd say. And I orgasm all the time. I like to do it at least four times before I stop. I have an insatiable appetite. Sometimes I worry I'll never be able to get into the shower and not do it. Just because I do it all the time. I suppose that's silly. I'm just new to it all. HornyBoy: I hope you're not joking about masturbation, cuz that's way cool. I usually do about once a day, too. Sometimes more, sometimes not at all, but I never go without doing it for more than a couple days. Have fun bathing. If I was you, I'd be itching to get myself naked in the shower, too. Hehe FatsoLoco: How strange you do that as much as I do. Sometimes I visualize people, sensations, ect., sometimes not. When I first started doing it I had orgasm after orgasm. I was amazed. It was so easy. The most I've had at one time was probably eight or more! The sensantion of water tantalizing my sensitive skin all over. Ahhh... Anyway last week I've noticed I don't orgasm as much. But it feels better. That intense feeling I have before I orgasm last longer so It's unbelievably better. Sometimes I feel like I just want to die and feel that sensation forever. But I don't orgasm as much, why is that? HornyBoy: As a guy, I can orgasm more than once. However, when having sex, I can usually keep going after my first one. Are you doing it different now? Maybe your technique is better, so it's a better orgasm, then your body is too exhausted to do it much more? FatsoLoco: I don't know what I could be doing diffrent. THe height of near orgasm lasts longer but I have fewer. I've never told anyone this but, Sometimes when I masterbate or on occasion when I've been with a guy, sometimes the feeling is so intense I can't stand it. I feel like I'm going to die. My heart's just going to stop. Like I'm going to burst into a million pieces. Or I'll never feel anything normal again in real life because this sensations to wonderful. I never want it to end. It's like a madness. Why do I feel like that? HornyBoy: I think it's about learning to let go and releasing that feeling. That, and sex is just plain cool. (Wow, thats some real deep shit there, Rollins wannabe. Fagatron) (From here, FatsoLoco starts to slowly grow insane on HornyBoy much like she did to me. To cut to the chase, heres her last email to him. This is also the first email I read out of all these, and it almost made me piss my pants.) I will make this my last e-mail. I ask you to please read it even if you may not like it. Or you've heard it all before. It has meaning to me. I couldn't sleep last night and I wrote this letter. It's mostly free flowing thoughts: You know It' late at night. I can't sleep. I keep thinking about how much I care about you and how much I despise you. Before I was intended to go to sleep I was thinking about how I kept that wrapper from that protein bar you gave me and how I felt like throwing it away. Then I had a memory of your eyes staring at on the bed we shared. Then I remembered something I hadn't thought about in a while. All the things you had said to me that night. How I was more beautiful than you could have dreamed. How you haven't cared about anyone this way in a long time. Worst how you promised we would see each other again. We could even play in the snow when we did. The memories of you holding me all night. It made my heart sick. How could you say all these things and not mean them? Or only have meant them at the time? The last argument we had wasn't even about what you said. I would have thought it a little insensitive at best. It was just the build up of my growing resentment for you. I kept asking you over and over again why you wouldn't see me. You seemed annoyed so I stopped bringing it up. When you did answer you told me you made past mistakes like this, you have other priorities in your life, you didn't want to fall in love because of distance, it would be a lot of work. You didn't know any of this before you met me that day? You couldn't have reflected on these things a little bit more before you said all those things to me and made false promises? But as for your excuses what about my life? I have friends and family my own life here. I would have dropped everything to try to be with you. Not becasue I'm pathetic or needy which is how you made me feel. Or even "Psycho" like your friend thinks. I've avoided entanglements with guys for the past two years. I don't "need" anyone in that sense. I just meant everything I said to you at the time and after with all of my heart. That's the diffrence. I've never had a "one-night stand." I've never in my life told anyone I cared about them when I didn't or made false promises. I thought you were a extrodinarily special person. I thought we could share more memories like that night together. I felt a pull twords you that I couldn't explain. I at least wanted the chance to know you better if anything. I haven't been nice to you latley. I freely admit that. It's because I've been in so much pain and I've been trying to hide it. So I retaliate and get irritated at the mildest inflection in what you say. You don't know how many times I've sat back and wondered what was wrong with me that you wouldn't want to see me again. Maybe if I was prettier, smarter, nicer, funnier anything I could think of what was wrong with me taht you'd never want to see me again. My self-worth has been hurt so much because of this. It dosen't matter now. I just need to let all these things out. I need to let out the pain I've bottled up so It will go away. You will fade into my memory with a long unmentionable list of disappointments great and small. Never to be thought of again. Farewell, FatsoLoco Bottom line (in case all of that was simply too much for you to read, which is quite understandable), my coworker fucked my stalker. How dare he! Perhaps I should have been angry, but since Id met both of them, I was sick to my stomach from picturing them rolling around naked. As soon as I could, I did what I had to do I ran up to HornyBoy and laughed in his face. But do you know what he told me? He says that FatsoLoco made it all up, and that he never did anything more with her than talk to her. I tried emailing FatsoLoco to see who was telling the truth, maybe have her draw a comic about what happened, but she apparently doesnt use her Hotmail account anymore. Maybe it has something to do with all her shit being erased and all the junk mail she gets. Ill never know if HornyBoy attempted the ultimate frat boy trick: fuck a fat chick in secret so your friends will never find out. He denies it, she cant or wont refute him. It will likely remain one of the greatest mysteries of my life. All I know is that I never had sex with FatsoLoco, and that I like sticking an electric toothbrush up my ass even better than the ocean. Fagatron 2093 Archive